Helping Savannah be sweet

Craig was feeling distressed because Savannah had been doing things to irritate him all morning. You know things like insisting that he have a gogurt even when he didn't want it, or telling him his name was Ted even after he asked her to stop, or not sharing the marshmellow's from the lucky charms, universe altering situations.  So he was feeling distressed and after she left the room I tried to help him feel better. I explained that she was probably just wanting attention and when she was naughty we spent a lot of time talking to her so she probably was just trying to get our attention.

Craig said "oh" in his very matter of fact way I was about to go on to explain positive reinforcement and attention when he said "Mom! I know what we can do! We can make sure to give her lots of attention when she's being sweet because when we were giving her lots of attention she was pretty much always sweet!"

He is constantly amazing me with how much he actually thinks about and reasons through what I say to him. I love to see his mind at work and hear his conclusions about things.

Then Savannah walked back into the room with a smile on her face and headed for the table where we were sitting. As soon as Craig saw her he said "Savannah I love you! You're so fun! I love it when you play with me and when you laugh and when you play cars with me and race with me and read stories with me! I just love you Savannah!"

She giggled "Wow Ted, that's a lot of options!" Then she gave him a hug

Melt my heart. Count on my 5 year old to remind me of the important things and inspire me to do better. I love my kids, I love my sweet Savannah. I'm so happy that I get to be their mom and learn from them and watch them grow and develop. We have our rough days and the times when I just want to throw in the towel and give up. Days when I don't want to hear one more whine or one more scream or one more "MOM!" But it's moments like this that remind me it's not about being perfect. It really isn't. It's It's about loving each other and trying to do our best.

I have to remember that my little ones are little scientists, learning experimenting and finding out all about their world. They need to experience cause and effect they need to see success and failure they need to feel happy and sad and learn effective communication skills they need to feel free to have an idea and follow through on it, they need to be free to live life! I need to remind myself that my success as a mother isn't based on their 100% model behavior. They NEED to be kids that means lots of trial and error, and THAT means I'm doing my job right. It means a lot of hard days and lots of 'now what?' and 'I'm at a loss right now! What do I do?' but also a lot of hugs and laughter and happiness too.

It's a good thing that good people, good moms and good kids don't have to be perfect, otherwise this would be a hopeless journey. And I don't think God intended it to be that way. I think he wants us to be happy and full of hope. And how on earth are we supposed to be happy if we're constantly feeling like a failure because we're supposed to achieve something that is impossible?!

I have a great family and I take comfort in the fact that great does not mean perfect.